can't help falling (in love)
by MagicMinnie
Summary: Severus Snape is seemingly never the right man to fall in love with.


**AN:** For QL Round Eight. BEATER 1: K-drama - unexpectedly meeting someone you had been in love with later on in life despite having had to part ways with them before. [Prompts: 1. (word) forgive, 4. (emotion) frustration, 13. (theme) falling in love with the wrong person]

 **Word Count:** 2559

 **Warnings** : Canon Character Death

* * *

 **can't help falling (in love)**

 **By MagicMinnie**

"Go away."

Aurora was starting to feel wholly pissed off. Just because Severus Snape was a selfish bastard who just wanted to mope in the library and not be disturbed, did not mean he got to ignore her. Just because she was relatively new at Hogwarts didn't mean she would let herself be underestimated, especially not by Severus. Not even he would get away with surreptitiously sliding her onto the back burner.

She made a little jump, sat down on the oak table beside him, and then lay down across his work and textbooks. For a long moment Severus didn't move, and with his hair obscuring his face Aurora couldn't tell if he was angry or not.

"Aurora, if you could please refrain from acting like a second year," he said.

"You made a promise," she said pointedly, her body unmoving. "You made a promise to _me_ Severus, and Slytherins pay their debts."

"You wouldn't know that if I hadn't told you," he countered, sitting back in his chair so she could finally see his pale face.

He had an ink stain on his chin, which Aurora conveniently decided to not mention. It was true. She _really_ would know nothing about Hogwarts if it hadn't been for Slughorn assigning Severus to make sure she was assimilating to her new school and surroundings. Leaving a civil war back at home, moving to live with family she had never met, joining Hogwarts could have been exceptionally difficult if it hadn't been for the mentoring of a boy two years her senior. He didn't dance delicately around anything, he told her straight the way things worked, and dropped her head first into the deep end. She liked that about him; that was why their relationship had developed beyond friendship. But none of that excused him at all from the promise he'd made.

She was acutely aware he was talking to her, "—now get off the table and leave me in peace."

She internally sighed. Over the last few weeks she'd noted a change in his behavior.

Somehow he'd become even more reclusive than before; he'd grown paler which further accented the dark circles under his eyes. He was only ever in his room, or in the library, never in the Great Hall or on the grounds anymore. Aurora thought this was peculiar, as when she had met him four months ago he'd been a passionate potioneer with a dry wit that she simply adored.

Aurora grabbed his tie and pulled it sharply towards her, surprising him.

"Severus Snape, I am not leaving. Either, A, confess why you are being an obnoxious bastard, or B, do what you said you'd do and help me with this Potions O.W.L practice, please."

He knocked her hand away once he had come to his senses, and she sat up as he pushed his chair back, stood and turned to hide his face. His shoulders were lifting fast like he was either out of breath or panicking — Aurora suspected the latter. Her intuitive hearing picked up his shaky breath simply because she was searching for it; after all, the alignment of the stars had foretold that she should be aware of confessions from people you hold dear. It wasn't until just a few seconds ago that she had realised that she really _did_ have a special place in her heart for Severus.

Aurora reached out for his hand, the static made them both jump as she made contact with his fingers, which were calloused from all the work he had been doing.

"Sev, you said you'd try to make this work," she began.

"Well, I don't want to. It was just sex; I don't have feelings for you."

He wrenched his hand away and moved back. Severus turned, scooped up his belongings and walked away without so much as even a flicker of his eyes in her direction.

Aurora was left alone, blood pounding in her ears, wondering what she'd done wrong.

 **oOo**

It was a few months after the war ended that Aurora received a letter via owl. She was in Athens, furthering her studies in Astronomy. It had fast become her passion in her teenage years, and she'd nearly completely forgotten about Severus Snape.

The envelope arrived, addressed in his familiar scrawl, and it felt as though it wasn't real. This was the boy who took her in, kicked her out to become a Death Eater, and never spoke a single word to her since that day in the library. Aurora slid her finger under the flap and slowly opened it. White noise pulsating around her, she was greeted by a short letter in deep purple ink.

 _Dear Aurora,_

 _I'm writing to extend my deepest apologies to you after the way I treated you when we were in Hogwarts. My excuse is lacklustre at best and I am now in debt to Albus Dumbledore for helping me find a purpose in life. It is because of this that I decided to track you down to apologise._

 _I read in Astronomy Weekly that you are a fully-fledged Astronomer and doing extensive research now. I am glad you have found your passion in life; I only wish I could have made the right decisions for myself._

 _You were my greatest friend in my final year at Hogwarts (and it turns out you didn't need my help with Potions after all). I don't expect to hear from you again and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, even though I suspect you won't._

 _I do wish you all the best in the future,_

 _Yours,_

 _Severus._

He was right.

His decision to cast her out were causing emotions that were still far too raw. She didn't want to think about the possibility of forgiving him. She folded the letter in half, stuffed it into the pocket of her robes, and returned to the charts she was drawing without giving even a second thought to Severus Snape.

 **oOo**

The day Albus Dumbledore invited her back to Hogwarts as a Professor was a dream come true. If Aurora could inspire just one student to open their eyes to the world above them, then she would have succeeded in her aim as an educator.

"Now, there's just a matter of your mentor," Albus told her. "Whilst you can always approach me if you have any problems or queries, I always assign a new member of staff a more senior mentor. In this case, since you were once a Slytherin, I am assigning you Severus Snape, our head of Slytherin. You might remember him — I believe you knew one another after you arrived at Hogwarts in your fifth year, correct?"

"Yes, of course, Professor," Aurora found herself saying before correcting herself. "Sorry, I mean Albus. It is going to take me a little while to get used to that."

She forced a smile. Her thoughts were suddenly on the fact that Severus Snape was now her mentor.

"Do not worry, even Minerva still occasionally refers to me as Professor," he smiled wistfully. "Now, I told Severus to arrive around about now, so he should—"

A brief knock interrupted Albus, and he called out for the person on the other side of the large, ornate door to enter the office. Aurora twisted in her high backed chair just as Severus stepped into the room and then stood up.

"Severus," she said calmly, holding out her hand for him to shake. "It's good to see you again."

"Aurora," he replied, taking her hand, his grip firm. "It is."

They hadn't touched since the day in the library when she'd reached out for him. They broke apart as Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"You'll have to excuse me; I caught a little tickle off Professor Sprout," he explained. "Severus, if you could, please show Aurora around — to the staff room and such. I'm afraid I have a arrangement in the Ministry beginning soon; I will see you both at dinner tonight. Once again, welcome to Hogwarts, Professor Sinistra."

With a bow of his head, Albus Dumbledore disapparated and left the two alone in his office.

"He just loves to make an exit, doesn't he?" Aurora muttered to herself.

"Yes, quite," Severus agreed.

Silence enveloped the two for a long moment; it felt like it was squeezing Aurora's brain. She wanted to be happy about becoming a Professor, but with Severus barely a metre away from her, it was distracting from the achievement a little.

"Shall we?" he asked finally.

"Yes, yes."

It was the most awkward walk through the castle Aurora had ever experienced. It didn't even equate to when she arrived at Hogwarts, mid-term, and was being shown around by Professor Slughorn, who had felt the need to tell every person they passed that she was a new student. It was odd, to say the least, to walk through the empty corridors. All she could hear was the echoing of their footsteps, not the constant rumble of students moving and talking, just her, and Severus, and nothing else.

It was as though neither of them really knew what to say to one another. It was awkward. It was driving Aurora insane.

She finally burst. "You can't just not talk and act as though everything is fine between us."

Severus stopped and turned to meet her gaze. He seemed ashamed, because even though he looked her in the eyes, the side of his eye twitched and caught the sunlight coming in through the window. They'd always looked black to Aurora, but now, they seemed a deep blue.

"I apologised," Severus said, "what more can I do?"

"I don't know," she replied frustratedly, "but we are colleagues now."

"Then we solve it," Severus said, as though it were simple. "Come, the staff room is this way. We can talk properly there."

He made it sound so simple, too simple, but he was right — again. They had to make this right.

 **oOo**

"You should not have accepted!" Aurora yelled, slamming her hands on the desk in the Headmaster's office.

Severus twisted, his cloak billowing behind him with the sudden movement, before falling still. Aurora was breathless, her heart racing. How could he stand there, behind the desk of the man he'd killed, and just be okay with that?

"Do you really think that anyone can say no to the Dark Lord?" he asked, his voice low.

Aurora shuddered at the thought of even coming face-to-face with You-Know-Who, let alone having a conversation with him.

She dropped her head, staring down at the dark wood of the desk. She was so frustrated that there seemed to be nothing she could say; nothing she could do. Severus had to fulfill his duty to You-Know-Who; he had no choice, otherwise that snake of a man would kill him. He would have no mercy. Aurora felt a lump in her throat at the thought of it — at the thought of losing Severus again. It was more than she could bear.

"Potter," Aurora said suddenly. "Harry Potter, can he defeat You-Know-Who?"

"I do not know," Severus said, his voice soft.

She didn't look up, fearing she might actually cry. It felt like she was losing him all over again. It had been bumpy, their relationship since they became colleagues, but at the very least they could trust one another again. If Potter couldn't defeat the evil that had taken over this world, Aurora feared that she and Severus would drift apart once again.

"There's no way you could just… leave?" she whispered.

Severus said her name and she raised a hand to stop him. Aurora knew what he was going to say already; she had simply been hopeful. She had to hope; she had to hope that things would change, and fast, before something horrible happened and Aurora lost Severus all over again.

She wasn't sure what she would do if that happened.

 **oOo**

It was a quiet service — small. A lot of people decided it would be best not to attend the funeral of a Death Eater, whether he'd been denounced as such or not.

Aurora almost didn't come.

As per his wishes, Severus Snape had been buried in a small cemetery in Godric's Hollow, close to the woman he'd come back to the light for. It stung a little, knowing his reasoning, but she understood. As Severus' closest confidante, Aurora knew how much he would have given to have rekindled his relationship with Lily Potter.

The atmosphere in the cemetery was thick and muggy. The grass beneath her feet was crisp and yet her dress was sticking to her back in the humidity.

Upon his arrival, Harry Potter, her former student, nodded in greeting as he went to speak quietly to Minerva. Aurora was stood alone, gazing upon the gravestone where Severus was buried, six feet under.

 _Here lies Severus Snape._

 _Mentor, Professor, and Friend_

 _9th January 1960 - 2nd May 1998_

No husband, no father, not even a son, just Severus being married to his job. That was what people would assume for hundreds of years, until the words became faded from the constant exposure to the elements. Aurora's eyes lingered on the word friend for a long while until the service began.

At the end, people left, but she stayed. Minerva came over at one point and put her hand on Aurora's shoulder.

"I know you were close," she said quietly. "Anytime, day or night, that you need me—" she exhaled slowly, her eyes glistening, before she continued, "—you can come to me."

Aurora nodded, lips pressed together. Minerva spoke a few more words of wisdom and then left herself. Eventually, Aurora was the only one standing in the graveyard; everyone else had left. Looking out to the blurred horizon, she knew it would rain, but that didn't matter. She wasn't leaving — not yet.

Eventually, just as she predicted, the heavens opened and the raindrops that fell were large and hot against her exposed skin. She thought about the letter in her pocket, the one she was planning to leave at the graveside, and how it would quickly grow sodden. Maybe that was for the best; Aurora had never intended for anyone else to read the words she had written down. It was best if they stayed between her and the spirit of her best friend.

Her fingers fiddled with the clasp on her bag. It was empty with the exception of the letter she'd written. As soon as Aurora pulled it out, large blobs of rain blurred the name on the front, watercolour purple creeping outwards.

She stepped forward onto the freshly disturbed earth, headed with the granite gravestone of her best friend — the man she loved. Laying the letter at the foot of the headstone, she exhaled shakily, watching as the letters of Severus' name were no longer identifiable.

"Goodbye, Severus."

Aurora's words were whispers obscured by the sound of heavy rain. The ground squelched underfoot as she got to her feet. With one last lingering glance at the now unreadable envelope, she turned away. Her feet were heavy and her shoes waterlogged, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

This was about saying goodbye to the man she loved — nothing else mattered.


End file.
